Avocado
The avocado presents what can only be described as a catastrophically narrow window of optimal utility. From the moment of harvest, the fruit embarks upon an inexorable march toward either premature hardness or sudden, devastating decay. The average specimen transitions from unripe to overripe in approximately seventeen minutes, a figure that may be only slight exaggeration. Left unattended for a single weekend, an avocado will transform from verdant promise to brown disappointment with the reliability of a Swiss timepiece.
The flesh, once exposed to atmosphere, begins oxidising immediately, developing the distinctive brown patina that has driven countless brunch establishments to employ full-time avocado monitors. Even refrigeration merely postpones the inevitable. The Hass variety, accounting for eighty percent of global consumption, remains particularly vulnerable to what the industry terms vascular browning, a condition rendering the fruit aesthetically distressing whilst technically still edible.
Rubber Duck
The rubber duck, by contrast, exhibits a durability that borders on the geological. Modern polyvinyl chloride specimens have been documented surviving decades of continuous bath immersion without meaningful degradation. The famous container ship spill of 1992, which released twenty-nine thousand rubber ducks into the Pacific Ocean, produced specimens that washed ashore fully intact after fifteen years of oceanic circulation, having travelled seventeen thousand miles.
These so-called Friendly Floatees proved so resilient that oceanographers began tracking their movements to study global current patterns. The rubber duck neither rots nor ripens. It does not bruise upon handling. It maintains its structural integrity whether subjected to scalding bath water or Arctic seas. From a pure longevity standpoint, the rubber duck operates on timescales the avocado cannot comprehend.