Coffee
Coffee's reliability derives from its fundamental simplicity. Hot water applied to ground roasted seeds produces the desired beverage with consistency that borders on the mathematical. The same process that sustained Ottoman scholars functions identically today. Equipment failures are rare and easily remedied—a cracked mug presents no existential crisis. Coffee requires no software, receives no over-the-air updates that alter its fundamental character, and does not spontaneously reduce its caffeine content based on subscription status. The primary variable remains human preparation skill, and even incompetent brewing produces acceptable results. A coffee emergency can be resolved at any hour in most urban environments.
Tesla
Tesla reliability presents a more complex portrait. The vehicles contain fewer moving parts than combustion equivalents, eliminating traditional failure points like transmissions and timing belts. However, panel gaps, paint quality, and electronic malfunctions plague consumer reports. The Model S ranked below average in Consumer Reports reliability surveys, whilst service centre wait times stretch to weeks. Over-the-air updates occasionally remove features or alter vehicle behaviour. Range degradation accelerates in cold weather, dropping by up to 40% in extreme conditions. Tesla's reliability ultimately depends on factors beyond owner control: software decisions made in California, parts availability, and the continued existence of the company itself.