Coffee
Coffee's combat applications are exclusively preparatory rather than direct. The beverage has fuelled military operations since at least the Ottoman Empire, with caffeine remaining standard issue for armed forces worldwide. Studies indicate that moderate caffeine consumption improves reaction time by 11%, enhances vigilance during extended operations, and reduces the likelihood of soldiers falling asleep during night watches. However, coffee itself possesses no offensive capabilities beyond the brief discomfort caused by hot liquid contact. Attempts to weaponise coffee have produced only the espresso machine, which whilst intimidating in appearance, functions primarily as a beverage delivery system.
Wolverine
Wolverine possesses six retractable adamantium claws, an indestructible skeleton, enhanced senses, and several centuries of combat experience across multiple wars. His fighting style incorporates techniques from Japanese martial arts, military hand-to-hand combat, and what can only be described as berserker rage. The adamantium bonding process rendered his bones unbreakable and his claws capable of cutting through virtually any material except Captain America's shield and certain narrative conveniences. Conservative estimates suggest he has defeated thousands of opponents across his fictional career, whilst his healing factor ensures he can continue fighting regardless of injuries sustained. Coffee, by contrast, has defeated no opponents except perhaps circadian rhythms.