Topic Battle

This examination reveals what philosophers have long suspected: that mortality maintains certain insurmountable advantages over even the most determined practitioners of inactivity. Death prevails with a score of sixty-two to thirty-eight, not through any particular effort on its part, but through the simple mathematics of inevitability. The sloth's strategy of moving slowly enough to avoid attention, whilst admirable in its commitment, cannot ultimately outpace that which requires no movement at all. Death shall continue its undefeated record, whilst the sloth shall continue its unhurried descent to the forest floor for its weekly constitutional. Both remain entirely satisfied with this arrangement.