Dog
As a security system, the dog operates with remarkable vigilance and questionable discrimination. The International Journal of Domestic Protection confirms that 94% of potential intruders reconsider their criminal intentions upon hearing sustained barking. Dogs alert their owners to threats including burglars, postal workers, leaves, their own reflections, and neighbours who have the audacity to exist within a 200-metre radius. This comprehensive approach to threat detection, whilst occasionally exhausting, provides genuine peace of mind.
Candle
The candle's security capabilities are, regrettably, negligible. No burglar in recorded history has abandoned a heist upon encountering a lit taper. The Edinburgh Centre for Crime Prevention notes that candles are, in fact, more likely to create emergencies than prevent them, with thousands of house fires annually attributed to unattended flames. The candle industry's attempts to market 'security scents' such as 'Essence of Aggressive Dog' have met with limited success.