Dog
The domestic dog has evolved what researchers term hypersocial cognition, a suite of adaptations specifically calibrated to human attention patterns. Dogs can follow human pointing gestures, an ability that even our closest primate relatives struggle to master. They respond to their names with enthusiasm that scientists describe as statistically excessive. When ignored, they deploy an escalating repertoire of attention-seeking behaviours: gentle pawing, strategic positioning, and vocalisation patterns refined over generations.
A dog's response time to human attention averages under two seconds. This responsiveness operates independently of external factors such as battery levels, software updates, or subscription renewals.
Laptop
The laptop responds to attention through input devices that require deliberate physical manipulation. A keystroke generates response within 50 to 200 milliseconds, depending upon processor specifications and the number of browser tabs accumulated during the workday. The laptop awaits instruction without initiative, a characteristic that software engineers consider a feature rather than a limitation.
However, the laptop demonstrates a concerning tendency toward unsolicited attention-seeking through notification systems. These interruptions occur without regard for human emotional state, meeting schedules, or the critical final minutes of dramatic television. The laptop has learned to demand attention; it has not learned to deserve it.
VERDICT
Dogs respond to attention with reciprocal engagement. Laptops respond with loading indicators and occasional requests for password re-entry.