Dog
The domestic canine possesses what might charitably be described as inconsistent absorbent properties. Whilst the dog readily absorbs emotional distress, existential dread, and surplus affection, its performance with actual moisture leaves considerable room for improvement. A wet dog becomes a redistribution system rather than a containment one, transferring water enthusiastically to sofas, bedding, and any human foolish enough to permit proximity. The dog's fur, when saturated, generates an aromatic profile that has inspired no perfume houses whatsoever.
Towel
The towel represents humanity's definitive solution to unwanted moisture. A quality Egyptian cotton specimen can absorb up to 25 times its weight in water, performing this function silently and without expectation of praise. The towel does not shake itself dry in living rooms. It does not require subsequent towelling itself. Turkish terry cloth, with its distinctive looped construction, maximises surface area for optimal absorption whilst remaining aesthetically neutral. The towel is, fundamentally, purpose incarnate.