Where Everything Fights Everything
Extremely slow-moving arboreal mammal that has perfected the art of energy conservation.
Absence of sound, increasingly rare commodity.
In the grand theatre of defensive mechanisms, two remarkably different entities have each perfected the art of protection. The hedgehog, a small insectivore weighing approximately 600-900 grams, has evolved over 15 million years to become nature's most elegant demonstration of passive resistance. Wonder Woman, created in 1941 by William Moulton Marston, represents humanity's idealised vision of active defence combined with compassionate strength. One curls into a ball when threatened; the other deflects bullets with her wrists. Both approaches, it must be said, have proven remarkably effective within their respective domains.
The hedgehog achieves its sole victory through sheer non-threatening adorability. Humans naturally gravitate towards creatures that pose no conceivable danger and fit comfortably in cupped hands. Wonder Woman's intimidation factor, however unintentional, creates inevitable distance. The hedgehog wins this category by virtue of being entirely incapable of accidentally destroying one's house.
The disparity here borders on the comedic. A creature whose defensive strategy involves remaining stationary cannot reasonably compete with a being who can circumnavigate the globe before a hedgehog completes a single waddle. Wonder Woman achieves a decisive victory in this category through what scientists might term 'overwhelming superiority'.
Both entities have achieved significant cultural impact, but their spheres differ substantially. The hedgehog dominates the 'adorable garden creature' demographic, whilst Wonder Woman shapes conversations about female empowerment and heroic ideals. Given the broader societal implications of Wonder Woman's cultural role, she edges ahead, though Sonic's commercial success ensures the hedgehog remains a worthy competitor.
The hedgehog's survival strategies, whilst impressive for a small mammal, involve sleeping through difficulties and hoping threats lose interest. Wonder Woman's approach involves being functionally indestructible. One might argue the hedgehog shows greater initiative by adapting naturally, whilst Wonder Woman was simply designed without weaknesses. Nonetheless, immortality remains difficult to compete against.
Whilst the hedgehog's spines are undeniably effective against foxes and badgers, they would prove somewhat inadequate against intercontinental ballistic missiles. Wonder Woman's defensive capabilities scale appropriately to any threat level, from common criminals to cosmic entities. The hedgehog receives commendation for evolutionary elegance but cannot compete with divine craftsmanship.
The Winner Is
Our comprehensive analysis reveals a predictable outcome when comparing a small nocturnal mammal to one of fiction's most powerful beings. Wonder Woman secures victory with 62% to the hedgehog's 38%, dominating in defensive capabilities, speed, cultural influence, and survival adaptability. The hedgehog's sole triumph in approachability speaks to the enduring appeal of creatures that cannot, under any circumstances, save the world from alien invasion. Both entities excel within their respective domains: Wonder Woman continues defending humanity from cosmic threats, whilst the hedgehog persists in defending gardens from slugs. Both contributions, one might argue, serve essential functions in maintaining order across their relevant ecosystems.