Monday
Monday's operational methodology displays elegant simplicity. The day employs a single algorithm: arrive after Sunday, depart before Tuesday, repeat indefinitely. This process requires no hypothesis testing, control groups, or ethics committee approval. Monday does not publish its methods in peer-reviewed journals because Monday's methods are self-evidently functional.
The day's approach to existence demonstrates what philosophers term 'pure being'—Monday simply is, without justification, apology, or supplementary materials. This methodological clarity has proven remarkably robust across all tested conditions including pandemics, revolutions, and the introduction of flexible working arrangements.
Scientist
The Scientist employs considerably more elaborate methodological frameworks. The scientific method—observation, hypothesis, experimentation, analysis, peer review—represents humanity's most sophisticated approach to understanding reality. Scientists must navigate statistical significance thresholds, account for confounding variables, and defend their conclusions before rooms full of colleagues actively searching for flaws.
This methodology has produced nuclear fusion, gene therapy, and accurate weather forecasting. It has also produced academic Twitter disputes that continue for decades. The rigour is admirable, if occasionally exhausting for all involved parties.