Zebra
Frankenstein Monster
The monster's social experiences have been uniformly negative. The Victorian Society for Creature Integration documents that his attempts at friendship typically result in screaming, fire, and pitchforks. His creator abandoned him immediately upon completion, establishing a pattern of rejection that would define his existence.
Even his literary appearances cast him as a cautionary tale rather than a sympathetic protagonist. The monster remains history's most famous example of why one should not assemble friends from cemetery components.
VERDICT
The sloth has merchandising deals; the monster has restraining orders. This category belongs decisively to the creature that achieved fame through strategic laziness rather than unfortunate circumstances of birth. Sloth wins overwhelmingly.